Monday, 21 January 2008

On having low energy (1) Introduction

So, what do I mean by having low energy? Obviously I'm talking about myself so I'm referring to my personal energy levels. To give you an antithetical example, think about those people who are bubbly, energetic and full of life. Think about the sort who can talk enthusiastically for hours and hours about absolutely nothing but still keep you interested in their conversation; the kind of people who, when they're feeling tired, go on about how tired they are. Think about the creative people who always seem to be involved in umpteen projects or go around helping every underprivileged habitant of their local area or are simply so irrepressibly cheerful that they evoke a smile from everyone they meet. Got an idea of the sort of person I mean? Well, I'm the opposite.

I get stuck in a rut so quickly it's like I'm on rails. I've offended many people over the years by falling asleep in pubs and bars, replying to polite conversation in monosyllabic grunts or by simply ignoring people when they talk to me. I've even upset close friends by showing no interest in what's going on in their lives. At no point have I ever really been uninterested - there are few things I have more interest in than the lives of my loved ones - but I run out of oomph incredibly quickly and it all seems like too much effort. You know that saying: only boring people get bored? Well I get bored. I get bored because I don't have the energy to get off my backside and do the things that would enrich my life. My spirit gets beaten down by the mundane so easily that by the end of a tedious, soul-snuffing working day I'm good for absolutely nothing.

Here is a quick Q&A for further elucidation of my point. When was the last time you... so excited you literally jumped up and down? I was 16.
...walked down the street with your best friends and felt so good you were invincible? I was 25ish.
...achieved a short term goal important enough that you punched the air in triumph? About 5 years ago when I beat a PB in the gym.

Not only are those the last examples of each incident that I can remember, they're some of the only ones. In other words there aren't many more instances I could give even if I trawled my memories.

According to my acupuncturist I have weak Heart Qi. A person with strong Heart Qi has what in Martial Arts terms would be called "fighting spirit"; in Western vernacular it would be "lust for life". In later entries I'll explain in detail about the physical and psychological causes and effects of having low energy and what I'm doing to try to combat the problem. I'll also plan the entries so they're a lot more cohesive than this one.

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